SCHOOL.

So I went back to school last Friday [I know - stupid day to go back - but there's really nothing I could've done about it] and I always enjoy the first bit of school when we go back (: Like the first week or whatever. It's good to see all yours mates & people you're used to being around after six, nearly seven weeks. It's also quite good to get your new timetable & stuff, only mine isn't set very well, I don't think. But ahh well; some days are okay. Oh & another thing to moan about: my locker. I was set on getting the same locker again [I had it in year nine & year ten, I wanted that same locker in year eleven!] but oh no! that couldn't possibly happen to Lauren; I got one of the new ones. :| Yerr, I know that normal people would probably be like "Awesome! I got one of the new lockers! How cool is that?" But it's out of the locker corridor, it's near the bottom entrance/exit [so it's cold everytime you want to get your books] & it's right next to the staff rooms. Can you believe a teacher came out yesterday & said to me "you've spent too long at that locker! you need to go to lessons!" Fair enough, the bell had just rung for lesson start, but I was getting my books for my last two periods! Sorry if I'm not quick enough! Too long at my locker...it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Next to penalty points, that is. But that's a whole other thing.

So, yeah, if you hadn't noticed I'm kinda grumpy today. I was in a really good mood at school (I think). I know that seems weird that I said I think, but I can't really remember, tbh. Everything's sort of a blur...I am sooo tired. That's mainly why I'm grumpy and pretty much everything I've said on here has been negative. Well, to top it all off I couldn't do my maths plus homework! I absolutely hate it when I can't understand things or I can't work out how to do them! Especially if it has anything to do with maths.

Oh well, at least I got my German done.

MY POEMS.

so yeahh, i've started writing my poems again. :) i really like them; more than i liked my old ones. i think they're better. it's weird though 'cause they just come to me before i go to sleep. i don't really even think about what i write - like i said, they just come to me. i've almost filled my little black book [i think it'll be full when i copy my latest poems into it - i had to write them on my ipod 'cause it was late when i 'thought' of them] and it is actually falling apart now. [: i like it like that. i have a little blue book now, though, to put in my blazer pocket when i go back to school tomorrow. yes, i'm looking forward to going back to school 'cause i'm kindaa geeky like that and i actually like school. :]
that's about it really.

here's my latest poems [i've decided to share them (which is something i don't do a lot) because i actually like them]. they may not make full sense to you, or they may. either way, it doesn't bother me. my poems have a meaning for me and they may hold a different one for you. it just depends on how you look at it and what the words say to you. sometimes the meanings of my poems even change for me. :) you have to remember aswell that they are not necessarily written from my point of view. most of them aren't. so to call me depressed or anything would be wrong and i would prefer if you didn't please.

A Strange Time
You've been gone for too long
The seasons have changed
The ground has frozen in July
The will only come out
When you return home
With stories filled with happiness
Joy not to be destroyed
Only diminished
Because nothing stays bright for long
And my apocalypse is near
Unless you hold my hand
And say everything will be okay.

My Desire
I love you, I think
But it's gone in a blink
As my words turn around
Is this love I have found?
There's a warmth that's inside
And it's trying to hide
So rekindle my fire
And feed my desire.

^^ i rarely write poems that rhyme because they're never very good. and even if i do i verrryy rarely share them. but i quite like this one and how it doesn't really make sense but it kinda does to me. (:

Breaking the Clock
I'm still here
Time is ticking by
Waiting
For you to come for me
To hold me and tell me you love me
Whisper spells in my ears
And show me how to fly
But I've waited for so long
Losing hope everyday
Because you still haven't found me
Maybe now is the time
For me to start looking for you
My love.

No Understanding.
I turned and ran
Expecting you to stay
You followed me
With a smile upon your face
What is this feeling
That comes with sight of you?
It stays with me sometimes
Traps itself
It is an amazing thing
But it's hurting me
And why did you follow?

Detached.
I've detached myself
So that I don't love anyone
And it's keeping me strong
My ice cold heart
Is what's making me a fighter
And keeing me alive
It's who I am
Don't try to melt it
Because it will only make things
Difficult for both of us
It will make us weak
And inevitably cause the end
So I've detached myself

Giving Everything For You.
Wipe away the tears
And tell me what is wrong
If it helps you to smile
Then you can ruin me
Do as you wish
Because making you happy is my priority
I'll walk through hell
If that's what it takes
Just to know that you'll laugh again
Destroy me if you wish
Let the flowers bloom in you
Let nature take it's hold
Mine are red when I think of you
But you may rip them from their roots
And let the blood run
If that's what you need
Or we could be as one
At last
And you could be happy with me
Rather than turning away
Whatever you choose
I will love you always,
Mit alles mein Herz. <3

Let's Destroy Each Other.
There's something different about you,
You stand out in the crowd,
You seem passionate,
But you hide yourself in hatred,
There's no need to pretend,
So break away from the lies,
Let me know who you are,
Let's destroy each other,
Because it'll be worth it in the end,
And you know you want to break free of the chains,
The lies unravel around you,
You show your heart,
Now you just have the passion,
Love seems natural,
It's a beautiful revelation,
Let's destroy each other.

So, what do you think? I'm sorry if they were a little long for you, but that's just how they happened. :P I didn't mean for them to be so long.
I hope you liked them.

x